Homesick, exhaustion, marching on.

 

Foreign exchange student from USA that came to church with us!

 Hi all!

 

I'm doing WONDERFULLY! Last week was pretty rough. I was exhausted, and homesick. 

But this last week was miraculous. Sometimes we use the word miraculous to describe something wonderful or good. But we forget that the word "miraculous" stems from the word "miracle." In that sense, this week was indeed miraculous. 

 

Thank you for the encouragement, mom. You and dad both sent me emails that pretty much lifted & saved me. You're right. It makes a difference when I hear it from my momma ;) and my dad. It carries more weight now. But at the same time, it is lighter. Weird, right?  (We sent him encouraging letters, he was a little down and very exhausted).

You're right, I am very green. I'm still adjusting to the work. It's a different life. I used to think that it's a harder life. But it's not. It's just different. You're right about the expectations. I was expecting far too much from myself. I discovered I had a mixed up perception on help from heaven. 

 

This is Elder & Sister Despain, I think they are related to Despains we know?

It's exactly what you said it was. We sometimes pray for our trials to go away. It's quite a coincidence (not really, because I don't believe in such) that you mentioned that. This week, I studied many different instances in the scriptures when people asked God for help. It is exactly what you said. In every instance, the prophets prayed for the strength to COPE with their circumstances. Not for them to be taken away. It's the same with Nephi, building his boat! He prayed to know WHERE he could go to make his own tools. He did not pray for tools. I am looking for material to make my tools. 

I took it one day at a time this week. I sat down and prayed every morning for the strength to make my attitude better. I asked for the strength to cope with my life. I promised him that I would give my absolute best all day until the day was done. And it WORKED. I have not had a better week since I got out here! Your prayers are being heard, mom & dad. And so are mine. I just had to do exactly as you and dad said. Forget yourself. Go to work. I will do my absolute best every single day. 

I will let Him mold me.

I hope you know I intend on being perfectly obedient and careful ;) 

 

Zone Conference.  I'm sitting next to our Mission President.

They feed us delicious lunches.

I'm just now starting to feel the spirit guide my words. I think it's come to a point where I realized that I can't make it all happen. It's in the Lords hands. Since that conclusion, I have been strengthened. I've been lifted. It gave me an opportunity to look around and see the beauty in everyone around me. In the earth. It really passes all my understanding. I gave my testimony in sacrament meeting, and it was the most sincere testimony I've ever borne. You're right. This mission is worth it. I know my redeemer lives. It's time to work. And the people and beauty here are starting to fill the spaces in my heart. 

I had a pretty cool experience this week. We doored an entire neighborhood in 4 hours. We found 7 pretty promising potentials to teach. But then we saw that we missed one house in the corner. So we went over. In a typical door approach we usually introduce ourselves as Missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We then state our purpose, and inform them of our message. If we deliver our message, and they still say they aren't interested, we try to ask them a few questions. But if it's clear they do not have interest, we wish them a good day and move on. But this particular house was different. It was clear from the first moment that the man was not interested. But my companion and I felt a strong impression to persist. We did. He again expressed his disinterest, but the spirit said no. We eventually bore our testimonies, and told him that our invitation was not to listen to us, but to listen to the spirit. That he would receive an answer from God, not us. We were then able to set up an appointment. 

 

My zone.

 It's true about the scary weeks with the shootings and such here in Germany... In the past few weeks, the world has erupted. It is on an exponential curve towards chaos. Such is the latter days. I want you to know that you don't have to worry about me.  I will be obedient. My work is not done :) I have no fear. I will be careful. The closer I get to the spirit, the more I feel the sadness of the world. It's like a thickening fog. But it pushes me to do my best to change it. The world will end, but the gospel will not. 

I'm putting my hand in his. This is his mission. I'm just along for the ride.

Thank you for the words you've given me to ponder. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the gospel is true. I am grateful to be a missionary. I'm grateful that I have the chance to do nothing but speak truth for two years. Thank you mom, dad and family. I love you all very much. I hope you have a very blessed week. Keep marching on :) as the German hymn says: weiter, immer weiter. Rum den Namen unsres Herrn. 

Thank you for everything! I'll send some pics :) till next week!