Hiking Nordkette and anxiety.

From Nov 1, 2017:

Hey Mom! :)

I'm so glad things went so well for you this week! I'll be sure to include Skylar in my prayers. Shoutout to Rachel for the surprise visit! That warms my heart. :) everyone is looking great in the photos. Thank you for sending so many!

Today was crazy!! We hiked a mountain and thought we'd be done in 4 hours (HA) We started up at 10:45 am and didn't hit the city again until 5 pm. It was a beautiful hike, but so tough! My legs will be nice and sore tomorrow. It's called: Nordkette. Beautiful mountain. There was even snow! It was just so much fun! I wish I could do stuff like that more often.

This week was pretty random and full of ups and downs. We started doing a daily challenge to boost our courage in the face of opposition. It usually involves doing something that we normally wouldn't do. We did it to combat routine and some social anxiety. (I'll tell you about that later) Elder Palfreyman is ahead with these challenges! The first challenge was to get into a bus and just sit next to someone, pull out a Book of Mormon and hand it to them while saying something like: "you want this?" It was so funny. Elder Palfreyman did it and the dude TOOK HIS BOOK. I was amazed!! I was not able to complete the challenge. -_- that's why he's ahead. The second challenge was to walk up to someone randomly on the street and ask them if they want to join: "Team Christ". They both said no. Rude. But the invitation was there! He actually technically said yes, but it was super sarcastic xD. Great times. The lady behind me heard me when I said it and busted up laughing. It's good to know you always have people positively supporting you with a little humor... HAHA. Everyone's laughing... It's been great, cause it just mixes it up a little.

We set off the fire alarm this week! I was making bacon. The apartment got so smokey. -_- no Problem though. The bacon was a little burnt. Don't eat spaghetti carbonara with burnt bacon. It's not worth it.

We celebrated Halloween today with Sister Schmidt and her daughter,(the whole family is normally there, but her husband was traveling and her kids were at a Halloween party) like the sweetest lady in the ward! She reminds me a lot of you in a lot of ways. She made us pumpkin soup and gave us some little treat bags! We played headbands too. (I was Heidi, if you know who that is.) Elder Palfreyman was Ariel. Sister Israelsen was Elder Palfreyman. It was hilarious. There was also a HUGE spider on the wall of their house! It was the biggest one I've ever seen on my mission! It was bigger than a Silver Dollar. Nasty.

We had a lesson with a new guy this week! His name is Paul, from Peru. He's a really nice guy, and studied Psychology in Innsbruck. He's looking for a job now. He's pretty against organized religion, but accepted a Book of Mormon and seemed to really take into account the things we talk about and love. I pray that it'll work out!

We had a pumpkin party at institute! We ate pumpkins, carved pumpkins, looked at pumpkins, made fun of our pumpkin carving... it was great! My good friend Adrian was there. So do you remember the group of guys we started teaching that had pretty dismal lives? The guys with the dirty apartment and the smoking problems? Adrian is one of their son. Dominik and Alex have since stopped inviting us over and refuse to make out any more appointments... I think they're done with the Mormon things, but Adrian has been coming to FHE and Spiel Abend everyweek! Without his Dad! He's probably around 15 years old. He doesn't talk much, but we've become super good friends and he's starting to open up a bit. He draws stuff like I do, and even drew me a few drawings! I drew him something as well. Anyway, he came to the pumpkin party and we had a blast. I'm really grateful for the friendships I get to have out here. Even if it's slow, I'm thankful for those I know. He even fixed my pumpkin when it broke Dx.

Carving pumpkins with Adrien.

We had a super good lesson with Petra this week. We had the feeling we just needed to come out and ask her directly how she felt about the whole thing... ask her how she feels. We took some time in the beginning of the lesson to talk about her questions in the Book of Mormon and stuff, and afterwards we just asked her what she feelings were about it. It's amazing what happens when you follow promptings. She opened up and told us at she wants it to be true, but doesn't have enough faith. She said praying doesn't work for her because you need faith to pray, but you also need to pray to gain faith. She wishes God was there, but just doesn't believe it. We're all praying and thinking of ways we can help her get an answer and figure it out. It's not too simple.

Teaching Petra!

We also went to the Bishop's house and Elder Palfreyman took the lead in everything! Woo! Proud of this boy!

Shelli's note: I left the following in here, because I think it is OKAY for people to understand that social anxiety is a thing, and that being a missionary can bring it to the surface.  It can be hard to approach, put yourself out there, and be rejected over and over again.  He's been doing well, but this has been a struggle for him here and there:

Well I mentioned some social anxiety. I have it. Pretty bad, I think. I think I've always had a hard time adjusting to a social atmosphere, but I've been doing it every day for a year and a half. I kinda snapped this week. A few times. I just break down, and I can't talk to people. I try, but it doesn't turn out right. I try to move forward, but it makes me feel like I'm sitting in darkness. I feel unable and very very nervous and anxious during these times. I feel impatient and anger quickly lately in social circumstances. It's really been making me struggle, and I don't know what to do. It's been building up a little bit in the last few transfers and then just kind of hit me super hard in the last couple weeks. I talked to President Brown and we have a Skype interview tomorrow to see how we can work with it. Please don't worry too much, though. Just pray for me, I'll be fine. :)

As for my college application, I can't really go any further until I enter my transcript info... so I'm just waiting on that. :) yeah apparently I cancelled my enrollment instead of deferring it. I think I might've done it because I was no longer planning on going to Idaho. Interesting.

Well that was my week, Mom! I hope you enjoy it. I don't have a lot of time and have to go but I love you so much! I hope you know that I pray for you guys every morning and night. Thanks for your prayers and love. It's a support I can't live without.

Your son,

Elder Tanner Larson